"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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