So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
