You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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