It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
