Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
