how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
