I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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