I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
