she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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