Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
