Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
