Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
