I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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