But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
