I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
