Sry I called you an 8
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
