hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
