:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
