He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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