I seem to have left my pride at pride
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
