Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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