if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
