Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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