Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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