you turned your livingroom into a bong?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
