the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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