Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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