I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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