i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i believe in u and ur pee
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
