bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
