Nicole vs. Life
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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