Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
