What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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