I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
