So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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