i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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