I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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