but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
