the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize