If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's shark week go big or go home
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
