Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
