you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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