too bad you live with your parents still
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
