Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
