im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize