I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
