Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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