I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize