What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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