and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
