Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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