Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
