I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
