I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
