Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
