Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
