I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
