I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
