would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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