3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
MIDGETS
????
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
