we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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