It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
