Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
