I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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