that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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