everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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