were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
