If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize