Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
